May Update
I haven’t written on here in so long because I have been focusing predominately on visual art but also because my writing has become so personal that I no longer feel the need to share it. I am torn because I miss being on here but at the same time I no longer have writings that feel like they belong here.
I am changing so much so fast and one of the biggest changes that I am going through is I am much more introverted then I use to be. I use to get super restless and unhappy if I didn’t spend a lot of time interacting with and connecting with other people. I use to need a lot more social attention. I use to make things and not be able to wait to share them with other people. I was very other people oriented.
I am not that way anymore. I no longer need people to see my work or read what I write. I no longer write to be heard by others. I no longer need a lot of attention. I can spend all day alone with nothing more then texting a friend or two and I feel content.
If I miss company it is the company of very set people. If I want to talk its to very set people. I went from just needing company to only wanting the company of certain people or preferring no company at all.
The funny thing is its not like I don’t like people. I still love people. I just don’t need them anymore. The only people I need are the ones I choose. My tolerance for peoples bullshit has plummeted. My desire to be around just people in general has gone down considerably and now I only want to be around people who make me happy.
I use to find busy environments fun and they gave me energy. Now I have a hard time not finding them overwhelming and I only enjoy it with the right company.
I am just a lot more emotionally independent then ever before and I also need so much less from others.
I have become a different person then I was 6 months ago. I am even a different person then I was 4 months ago. Chances are I will be different 2 months from now. Life is strange and beautiful in that way. My experiences changed me and I am cool with it. But how I spend my time and who I spend my time with has changed dramatically.
I am a different person. I don’t know whats ahead of me but I know that I will survive, thrive. I know that I will change and I will persevere.
I carve my own path.