Preface (to further self elaboration)
You know how people are often categorized as either introverted or extroverted. Well I have never been so good at fitting either label. I always felt like a wiggled around on that border and never committed to either side particularly well. Then once I kept taking personality tests (especially Myer briggs periodically) I kept getting marks like 45% introverted, 55% extroverted, or sometimes even straight 50/50 cut. Now well personality tests might not be the be all end all I have always felt like I rode that line so having that be confirmed was an odd comfort/ good eye opener.
I think that the combination of that personality trait, my multicultural background, my colorful childhood, and how I am one of the most rational, highly sensitive people most of my friends have ever met explains in one long sentence the many oddities about me.
My whole life I have been told that I was different, unique, unconventional. People tell me how they have never met someone like me or how impressed they are that I can hold two seemingly incompatible traits.
I am not saying this to drag nor am I saying it to boost my ego. I am a firm believer that every person is just as wonderful as every other person. That what pulls people apart is not that one person is better or has more potential then the other but that they merely have incompatible personalities or life orientations. I believe that you can do anything that I can do. I believe that we all have the potential to do truly great things, I just don’t necessarily believe that everyone will use that potential. But anywho, before I ramble endlessly I will say this.
I spent a lot of my life being ashamed of the label “unique” that other people gave me. But now I embrace it. Because while I might have felt shame that I was different I still knew that I would be much happier being myself and struggling then pretending to be something I am not. And I started to learn to love and accept myself around my junior year in high school. It has been a long and challenging road and it is a journey that most certainly isn’t over but at least now, I can say with confidence, that I have made significant progress.
Now I embrace my label and work hard towards opening up in ways that I refused to for so long.
I am a complicated person with a complex past. I use to talk to people very little about my past and even less about my inner world. But I don’t want that to be true anymore. I want to tell my story. For while it might have its snags I know that it is a beautiful story. Just like anyone else’s.